March Lesson of the Month
“Shakti-Ma, how do I begin to write about her?”
I almost feel like there is no way to really describe her essence. The best I can do is to use my words to express my personal experiences of her, my adoration, and my devotion to her. As I’m writing this newsletter, I am in the mid of co-creating and co-teaching Shakti Initiation, a women’s yoga leadership training with my beloved sister Grace Jull. We have the fortune to be doing this program in beautiful Bali, a Hindu island in Indonesia. To both Grace and I, this island is Shakti-Ma. The island of grace, beauty, awe, rawness, wildness, simplicity, and magic, Here we find God and Goddess in every corner, humanity in its full array of expression, and different colors bursting forth from flowers, fabric and fruit enchanting us.
This is a land where God, nature, and human are in constant relation, and in a constant dance of harmony.
I believe to be human is to be spiritual. The human spirit is probably one of the most powerful energies on earth. Spirituality is not limited to monasteries, it exists in every household. In fact, it is in the animal kingdom, nature, and the whole universe.
This is our third year offering this program. In the first year, my mother passed away in the beginning of the program, and in the second year, my father passed away in the middle of the program. And this year, something in me keep passing away as I teach the program. I seem to be in a deep trance, eyes wide opened, and witnessing the serpent in me continuously undulating her long spine, and slowly meticulously shedding her skin. Everything that I teach about Shakti Initiation seem to have a life of her own. She has turned around and she is teaching me her language, her cosmic dance, her temperament, her depth, her unfathomable presence, power, and magic. My chakras are blown wide opened by her divine force, extraordinarily wisdom, incredible creativity, and her undying love.
I am taken by her, completely and finally whole heartedly. She nests in my bones, moves in my blood, and pulsates in my skin. Shakti is in every breath I take and in every step I make. She sleeps with me every night and sometimes talk to me in my dreams. Through her, I am learning about the subtlety and intricacy of true surrendering and witnessing the dying of yet another part of my ego, and relaxing into the opening and meeting of my senses again. She is not one that is easily to be rid of. Her presence cannot be contained and cannot be owned. Shakti-Ma is a child, a young girl, a woman, a hag, a crone, a witch, a Goddess, and an alchemist. She transforms from shape to shape, from color to color, from light to dark, from dark to light. Shakti is nameless and formless and yet she is known by many names and multitude of forms.
She is the paradox of all paradoxes and she laughs hysterically at me when I take her seriously. And yet she shows no hesitation to kill me when I ignore her. I love her. And I begin to taste her potency in healing, in vitality, in harmony, and in the creation of all things. She is the ultimate Ma. I feel so fortunate she laid eyes on me and that I can pay tribute to this ever-changing deep expression of life. I am not alone. I am connected to her and I am her vehicle of expression. I mean I am just one of her gazillions vehicles of expression. I rejoice and say, “Use me well, Shakti-ma!” I am your daughter and your devoted student. You are my guru, my sister, my mother, my demon, my lover, and my beloved. In my sincere attempt to teach about Shakti, I become food for her. She eats my up, chews me well, digests me thoroughly, and spits me out into the world again. Shakti-Ma, I bow to you at your lotus feet!
Much love,
PS. After a long contemplation and encouragement from our beloved Shakti sisters, Grace and I decided to recommit to offer Shakti Initiation Women’s Yoga leadership training again next year in Bali. Application begins April 1st 2016. First half of training (in the format of conference calls) will begin in September 2016. Second half of training (a month long in Bali) will be in March 2017. Our maximum capacity is 22 students.
Please visit for more info.