The Passage of Grief: Receive the hidden gifts
Grief is like a pot of stew that has an array of flavors of emotion: devastation, disbelief, anger, fury, lost, depression, guilt, shame, remorse, sadness, hopelessness, irritation, exhaustion, longing, heart aching, indifference, denial, recklessness, and despair. Just to name a few. There is an alchemy happening in the pot without my intervention.
All the spiritual awareness, mindfulness, and yoga practices help me to stay present to all. I am the pot holding all that is, and allowing all that is to unfold exactly as it is.
It has been six months since my father passed away and about 22 months since my mother passed away. Losing both of them has been one of the most painful and awakening experience of my life. As I mourn their lost, I also receive immeasurable hidden blessings from the experience.
Here are some precious lessons I’ve learned:
- Grieving is a personal journey and you pretty much have to journey through it yourself.
- Do your best to welcome every emotion that comes your way. Every one of them is worth your attention. Just don’t get attached to it.
- Allow every wave of emotion to run its course. And yes, there will be another wave… but you will get stronger each time riding it.
- Get support from your family and friends but know that they can’t take the pain away, and they are not to be blamed if they don’t understand why you still can’t get over the sadness and be happy.
- Loss and grief are fertile soil that house seeds of new beginning. Darkness is potent for growth.
- Let the devastation of loss shake the core of your being. When the shaking calms down, look carefully, for what is remaining might be what is worth living for.
- You will love and laugh again.
- Hike in nature every day if possible. Nature knows grief and sorrow.
- There are blessings in Grief. Even the pain is a blessing. When I stay in the center of pain, I experience unconditional love and deep gratitude.