Trust the Process: Follow a Thread of Wisdom to Freedom
“…revelation must be terrible knowing you can never hide your voice again”
~ David Whyte
“Obliterate what is not” has been a repeating mantra in my heart and mind for a few months. There is this ferocious appetite to change, to discard, to destroy and to have nothing. Should I trust it? Is this a tantrum reaction to the pain of losing both parents or is this a genuine divine nudging from God? I remember the Sanskrit expression “Neti-Neti” which means “Not this and Not that”. Is this what I’m going through?
This feeling shows up strongly especially in my life style. For example, I have been obsessed with wanting to pare down my material possessions. I did give away and sell about 90% of what I owned when I left Massachusetts and moved to Big Sur, CA last December. So what is this obsession?
Here are some lessons I’ve learned:
- Transcend Ownership to Relationship
I realized when I lost my parents, I lost the most valuable things of my life. There is a deep emptiness as well as exhaustion that makes the rest of my possessions feel insignificant and disposable. I do not have the same attachment to them as before. My things and I have transcended to a different level of being where I am no longer interested to own them but am interested to be in relationship with them. In this way, I want to minimize what I have in order to know what I have.
- Now or Never
The loss plus leaving my job, community, and moving to a different coast have gifted me many powerful insight about life, love and freedom and have inspired me to live differently. If I’m not mindful and attentive, I will subconsciously diverge back to old habits that will strangle this new revelation. Now is the golden opportunity to make bold changes, design and practice new habits to support the new lifestyle.
- Life Always Finds Its Way
My physique feels like a forest that has just gone through a major fire. There is nothing left but barren ground. Even though I feel desolated by deaths, life ultimately is undefeatable. Like a gardener, I need to attend and water the seemingly empty ground, and to weed out anything that will interfere with the growth of a new life. This is a precious time that calls for wild imagination, great creativity and passionate devotion to what is possible.